His coke bottle lens glasses and rumpled clothing gave him a high school, nerdy kind of look. The seemingly unavoidable body odor and obsessive use of hand sanitizer, coupled with a compulsive need to “explain” things made even the most tolerant Last Chance customer, rigidly intolerant. That left him pretty much left out and safely invisible.Carl won a disability award in 1978, due to his uncontrollable personal habits, as they made it impossible for him to hold a job. He spent the intervening decades hoping for relief and dreaming of a world where he felt safe. Most people with whom he shared his vision for a safe world, instantly and correctly diagnosed him as a serious but harmless mental case. Anyone who gave him a second thought wondered if it wasn’t bad enough that Carl needed to be institutionalized.He never had a chance in life. Being born black with an amazing artistic talent, he was the owner of an IQ in the high one-seventies that made many regret the lost opportunities. I thought about how I had carelessly placed myself and my belongings in such a fashion that she had sustained injury. I thought about the whole incident again and again. I became focused on what happened, and thought about what could have happened had things been worse. Time passed, and I remained watching sensei even after the women came, one by one, to try to take over from me. I remained sitting cross legged next to her, watching. It finally came about that I drifted off to sleep. I didn't even realize it had happened. I just suddenly noticed I was looking at myself sitting cross legged next to Juri-sensei from a distance. I wasn't totally convinced at first that I was asleep, until I observed the gradual appearance of a form. Something was manifesting itself next to my seated form. I watched it until its form was complete. The manifestation was me. There I was again, my sleeping body, my center of awareness outside my body, and some form or manifestation of myself that seemed to.
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